Confronting the Self-Saboteur Within: A Guide to Overcoming Internal Roadblocks with Mindset Expert Viv Joy | EP231 mmm
"Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening." Lisa M Hayes.
EP 231
Self-sabotage is a perplexing phenomenon that plagues many individuals striving for personal and professional growth. This pervasive issue was the focus of this episode of the Mindset & Action podcast, featuring mindset maven Vivienne Joy. The discussion peeled back the layers of internal roadblocks that hinder success and explored the subconscious needs that fuel these self-destructive behaviours.
The episode began with a candid admission from me, about my own experiences with self-sabotage, particularly regarding the direction of my podcast. This real-life example set the stage for an in-depth conversation with Viv, who brought a wealth of knowledge on reframing our self-limiting narratives. Viv's insights into the concept of 'safety' being at the heart of self-sabotage were particularly enlightening. She explained that our actions, which often seem to work against our interests, are actually misguided attempts to protect ourselves from perceived threats or failures.
Throughout the podcast, Viv stressed the importance of shifting the focus from 'why' we self-sabotage to 'what'—what are the underlying needs we are trying to satisfy, and what is the fear that we're trying to shield ourselves from? This subtle but powerful change in perspective can lead to more productive self-inquiry and open the door to actionable strategies for change.
As the conversation delved deeper into the subject, Viv outlined how self-perception plays a crucial role in the cycle of self-sabotage. She pointed out that the image we hold of ourselves often doesn't match the high regard others have for us. This misalignment can manifest as a reluctance to acknowledge and celebrate our achievements, a phenomenon that is particularly pronounced in women, in my opinion.
The discussion also touched upon the topic of expectations—both from others and those we impose on ourselves. Viv explained that unrealistic expectations are a common trigger for self-sabotage. By setting the bar too high, we inadvertently create a breeding ground for overwhelm and defeat, which can spiral into self-sabotage. The key to overcoming this is to recognize and adjust these expectations, focusing on what is realistic and achievable.
Another compelling point raised in the episode was the concept of the 'self-harm cycle,' which Viv described as an emotional equivalent to physical self-harm. This cycle is characterised by thoughts of inadequacy and unworthiness, which perpetuate the self-sabotaging behaviour. Breaking this cycle requires intercepting these negative scripts and actively working towards a more positive and self-compassionate mindset.
In closing, the podcast provided you with practical advice on how to step back, assess the situation realistically, and ask the right questions to move out of a self-sabotaging mindset. Viv's coaching questions, such as "What do I need to stay safe about right now?" and "What is realistic for me to achieve?" offer a blueprint for navigating through and beyond the self-imposed barriers to success.
I encourage you to visit Viv's website for additional resources. The episode ended with a call to action for the audience to stop self-sabotaging and embrace the journey toward self-empowerment—a powerful message for anyone seeking to reclaim control over their life's direction.
In essence, the podcast episode with Viv serves as a comprehensive guide to understanding and dismantling the barriers of self-sabotage. By shifting our mindset and addressing our internal roadblocks with expert guidance, we can move from self-defeat to triumph and unlock the full potential that lies within.
Bye For Now!
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